It’s a very poor reflection on my temperament, but I get irritated when we are asked to post a first line one week, to then pick from the others for a post the following week. It’s a cop-out. Surely it wouldn’t hurt Chuck to say: hey, post an awesome first line AND go back to the random title generator of a couple of weeks ago and pick a new one…. Maybe other people don’t want to write a story every week?
In moaning about this or something else to Rebecca, I said I ought to do a ‘ridiculously over the top humorous romance with a vampire under the sea in a spaceship eating sushi in a convent’. I brought it on myself, but I limited your pain to 500 words.
It’s finally happened. I’ve met Mr Right. We’re going on a cruise together, the SS Octopus, leaving tomorrow from Southampton. He’s so tall, dark and handsome. I hardly believe the muscles I feel when I hug him. Truly, I never want to let him go. He’s a professional printer. He sharpens cards, I think he said. He gave me his, from a little silver case. It’s got gold edges—the card, not the case. “Mr W. Right, Engraver to the Stars, c/o SS Octopus.” He may own the ship. I’ll find out and let you know.
You would not believe it. This beautiful ship—not as huge as I expected, it’s so exclusive—left Southampton with fireworks and lights and hooting from all the other ships. The fireworks continued as we settled in our cabins to prevent sea sickness on our first evening. I slept well, and in the morning ate in a beautiful breakfast room, completely surrounded by fish. How clever to have an aquarium on board! Mr Right graciously took my hand and led me to our table. He has the most gorgeous brown eyes. I love the way his fringe flops across one eye. He sometimes tosses it back with an irritated look, and sometimes he just pats it into place like an unruly child. I’m not sure which I prefer – the arrogant toss, with the flash of light in his eyes, or the gentle pat; he’d make the most adoring father. Tonight we have a fancy dress party.
Oh, he’s so wonderful! He came as a vampire! Cloak lined with purple satin, fangs, make-up, the works. Three other girls, scantily clad even for a party, crowded round him when I entered, but he was at my side in an instant. I didn’t have a thing to wear, but he whispered in my ear at lunchtime: “worry not, my dear, I will send you the perfect costume later. Believe me, you will have every red-blooded man eating out of your hand.” When I opened the box I was surprised. It was a nun’s outfit! But when I put it on, I realised—a nun’s habit hides many secrets, and most of mine were Victoria’s :D. We danced, we fed each other sushi using those little stick things; he used them with utmost dexterity, but then you have to see his elegant hands to appreciate his sensitivity. I just speared my pieces, but that was just fine for popping them in his mouth, as he fed me from his own plate. And the champagne! I gazed into his eyes and swooned, thinking how much I would like them next to me forever….
You’re not big enough to keep writing in for eternity so I’ll give up now. I also haven’t got an eternal supply of ink. And no, I have better uses for blood. Mine and Mr Right’s. Together forever, on the Space Ship Octopus, twenty thousand leagues under the sea.
© J M Pett 2016
BTW I submitted “It’s a ridiculously over the top humorous romance with a vampire under the sea in a spaceship eating sushi in a convent” as that first line. I doubt anyone will choose it for next week!
Picture from octopus-pictures.co.cc