Why Grandma Doesn’t Know Me sounds like it should be a great read for a kid whose grandma or pa has dementia. I’m including this in Great Middle Grade Reads this week because I thought it was an MG book when I listed (and bought) it. And it isn’t.
This is another post joining in Marvellous Middle Grade Mondays, run by Greg Pattridge at Always in the Middle. I’m running out of MG reads to review, so I’ll see how long I can post on the third Monday of the month.
Why Grandma Doesn’t Know Me
by Abbie Johnson Taylor
Sixteen-year-old Natalie’s grandmother, suffering from dementia and confined to a wheelchair, lives in a nursing home and rarely recognizes Natalie. But one Halloween night, she tells her a shocking secret that only she and Natalie’s mother know. Natalie is the product of a one-night stand between her mother, who is a college English teacher, and another professor.
After some research, Natalie learns that people with dementia often have vivid memories of past events. Still not wanting to believe what her grandmother has told her, she finds her biological father online. The resemblance between them is undeniable. Not knowing what else to do, she shows his photo and website to her parents.
Natalie realizes she has some growing up to do. Scared and confused, she reaches out to her biological father, and they start corresponding.
Her younger sister, Sarah, senses their parents’ marital difficulties. At Thanksgiving, when she has an opportunity to see Santa Claus, she asks him to bring them together again. Can the jolly old elf grant her request? [goodreads]
My Review
I bought this book since I’d read good things about it. Yet in no way did it match what I remembered.
I expected a book which would help a younger family member understand Grandma’s dementia, even if it needed a little parental help to get through it.
What it is, is an interesting story for a teen, which hops from parent to parent to teenager for different point of view chapters. This got so irritating I gave up, but it seemed all about the mother’s one-night stand and the teen (and the ‘father’) coming to terms with that, with a few side shots about grandma’s memory lapses and behaviour.
If it is recommended for a middle-grader, beware. Do you really want them to get bogged down with each parent’s views and emotions of a one night stand breaking up their marriage? Maybe an older child in this situation might benefit, but it’s hardly to do with dementia (which is just a side issue).
Maybe I just misunderstood what it was about. Not surprising, really, with that title.
Thanks for being honest about what you didn’t enjoy about the book. The premise sounds interesting, but I’m not sure the POV changes would work for me either. I hope you’ll continue to join us at least once a month.
Thanks for sharing this review. It’s helpful to know when the title does not reflect the story.
The cover doesn’t help either with the perception of what the story will bring to young readers. I do know several teens who would enjoy this book. Thanks for featuring it on this week’s MMGM.
Thanks for the heads-up! I can give this one a miss.
How disappointing. That title and cover are pretty misleading too. I think I’ll pass on this one but thank you for the honest review. Happy MMGM to you.
I’ll be sure to step around this one. Thanks for the honesty!
I would assume the same thing from the title and cover art. I don’t think a POV like that would work for either teen or adult readers. And I agree, I’d rather read about a teen dealing with a grandparent with dementia than adult drama.
Thanks for the honest review!
Thanks for an honest review. It doesn’t sound like a MG book to me, but it does sounds like a disappointment.
How disappointing! The title certainly sounds like a middle grade one though I am not so sure about the cover. I think it sounds an interesting story, and I can imagine the trauma such a discovery would bring to a teen, but definitely not for the middle grade audience! Thanks for sharing!
Yes, I do agree about the cover… Perhaps an older teen would like this book. A good book that deals with dementia (it’s MG and it is FANTASTIC!!!!) is Ruby Lost and Found by Christina Li. It’s about a girl named Ruby (I forgot her last name….>_<), whose grandpa died earlier, and she’s dealing with grief, and at the same time, her grandma is developing dementia and forgetting lots of things. It’s a marvelous book!
Hi,
A good summary of my feelings reading this brief resume….
– and to me, that cover suggests a great grandparent – majority of whom aren’t affected by any kind of dementia and don’t live in care homes….
‘ A real’ parent emerging ? Dementia must be painful enough without so much unwelcome information at 16 – a tough year in any school system.
You know, that’s an excellent point. Most people I know tackling dementia in parents are in the 50-80 age group (and parents in the 70-100 age group) so their kids would mostly be over 20 at least; so a grandchild with their own tween children most likely 30+, so great grandma would be much more suitable. I did have a friend aged 30 whose father had long term dementia (already ten years) but that’s less common.
Thanks for this honest review — I do believe the POV changes wouldn’t quite work for me. I shall pass on this book, but if you do want a good MG book that deals with a middle-grader dealing with a grandparent with dementia/memory loss, I highly recommend Ruby Lost and Found by Christina Li — so good!!! There’s also When You Trap a Tiger by Tae Keller, but that’s magic realism and the grandma has brain cancer not dementia, though she does deal with memory loss. Thanks for sharing this review! And I do hope you’ll still be able to join MMGM!!
I don’t like many POV changes. With a reasonable chunk of story each time it’s okay, but a couple of pages and shifting (even with new chapters) does my head in.
Oh, I definitely would not have expected the book you described with that title and cover. Interesting.